Gossip is self sabotage! There's something called Spontaneous Trait Transference and what it means is this..... when you make negative comments about others, people associate those same traits with YOU because the brain is wired to identify you with the comments you make (negative or positive). People logically know you are talking about another person, but the brain forces the listener to perceive YOU as possessing those negative traits you speak of. So Mama was right... if you don't have something positive to say, say nothing at all.
There's no sugar-coating this. Gossip is more damaging to YOU than to those you gossip about. If you say awful things about your spouse, people will associate those negative things with YOU. If you complain about a coworker, others will identify YOU with the negative characteristics you speak of. If you verbally judge a person or group of people, YOU will be viewed in a negative light.
A wise woman once told me..... the definition of Gossip is: 'when you hear something you like about someone you don't'. OUCH!
Also, stop and ask yourself WHY you gossip. Are you trying to slander someone you don't like? Are you addicted to drama or negativity? Or are you trying to make yourself feel more significant by trash talking someone else? Whatever the reason, become aware, use this as a learning lesson, understand yourself better, then use it as ammo to grow!
When it comes to gossip, get up and leave that conversation. Take no part in it. Walk away or change the subject to something positive. Never judge others, always give people the benefit of the doubt.... because you truly aren't aware of all that another has lived through, what their past is, what their present circumstances are, why they are the way they are. Love, don't judge. Accept and encourage instead of criticize. Praise the positives in someone instead of gossiping. It's healthier for all involved.
Gossiping about your spouse is marital suicide. It hurts you for the aforementioned reasons, but it also drive negativity deeper within you. What you focus on, you attract more of. So if you constantly focus on the negatives of your spouse, you'll see more negative. If you really want to change or help your spouse, start talking about him/her in positive ways. Look for the positives and comment on them - then you'll start to see change. Don't believe me? Commit to this for three months straight and see if it doesn't work!
Gossip truly is self sabotage. Do you want others, even if it's subconscious, to view you the way you speak of others?
To listen to my podcast episode on The Marriage Show, please head over to iTunes and listen here: The Marriage Show on iTunes.
To watch my video tutorial teaching more about this, head over to YouTube and find the video here: The Marriage Show on YouTube.