My momma used to always tell me, "You are who you hang out with". Turns out, science agrees. Neuroscience has proven that we are an accumulation of the top 5 people we spend time with. It's important to surround ourselves with people that will positively influence us, and it's equally important to limit our time with people who dwell in negativity.

Energy and emotions are contagious. Have you ever witnessed someone laugh so hard that you couldn't help but laugh, too? Or witness a person receive devastating news and find yourself crying with them? This is called empathy. We begin to feel what they are feeling. Have you ever spent a great deal of time in a different part of your country, or a different country altogether, and noticed you picked up the native accent? When we spend much time with someone, we take on their posture and tone of voice, imitate their facial expressions, and adopt their mental and emotional state.

Hang around happy, optimistic, successful, positive people and you'll become the same. Hang around defeated, pessimistic, dramatic, negative complainers, and you'll become a sourpuss.

Here's why negativity is so dangerous... It kills relationships (marital passion included), business, spiritual life, and health. Neuroscience has proven that negative thoughts rewire the brain so you're more likely to see negative in the world around you and it's difficult to see good. Here's how neuroscientist Steve Parton explains rewiring:

"Throughout your brain is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge of relevant information you’re thinking about. Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier for the thought to trigger. Therefore, your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. Let that sink in for a moment before you continue, because that’s a seriously profound logic-bomb right there."

Are you chronically ill? Have a look here.... Negativity effects your health. It causes high blood pressure, stress, anxiety, depression, poor circulation, and lowers your immune system. Health advocates know that one teaspoon of sugar will knock out your immune system for 2 hours. Negativity is worse: an angry episode (venting) knocks out your immune system for 6 hours. Why? The stress hormone, cortisol, is released. Parton says it "interferes with learning and memory, lowers immune function and bone density, increases weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, and diabetes."

To sum all that up in non-scientific terms, negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts which leads to personality transformation, poor physical health, disease, and ultimately death. So if these reasons alone aren’t enough to make you stop your negative thoughts and emotions, what if I told you that you could potentially lose your spouse?

Humans can only take so much negativity before something breaks within. People will reach a boiling point where they can’t take anymore. This is when affairs happen. This is when a spouse can shut down and shut you out. This is when people start to think about separating. Most likely, if you’re living with a negative spouse, you feel as if YOU can do nothing right - like nothing is ever good enough.

Negative thought patterns affect emotions. Repeated emotions become emotional patterns. Emotional patterns affect behavior, and repeated behaviors become behavioral patterns. And it’s all contagious.

The same holds true with positive thinking. Use your thoughts as a muscle, grow them for good use. Retrain your brain to think and feel positives instead of negatives. You’ll be happier and so will your partner. If you need help, please set up an appointment with me so we can talk:

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