Do you feel plagued with emotional suffering? Depression or anxiety? Negative emotional patterns? Are you consumed with fear? Do you feel stuck and find it difficult to move forward or create positive change because of your suffering?
What if I told you that most suffering is a choice? What if I told you that suffering isn't something that happens to you because of life's circumstances, rather, it's a place you choose to go because you're fulfilling some of your needs? Tony Robbins famously says, "Pain is unavoidable, a fact of human life. Suffering is optional, a choice."
What he means is this: pain is part of life - we all have pain from time to time. People die, this causes us pain. Relationships end, jobs are lost, we receive a diagnosis we don't like - these all cause us pain and sometimes fear. Suffering enters the picture when we choose to dwell in that pain and/or fear because we feel powerless to create change. To eliminate suffering, you must create change. Creating change in your life is always an option, therefore..... suffering is an option.
Have you ever heard of 'Learned Helplessness’? It describes people who believe they are powerless and have no control over their life. There are 3 categories of belief that cause people to experience 'Learned Helplessness':
Permanence - it's when someone believes their problems are permanent and that nothing can occur to eliminate the problem. Hope and happiness are lost, people take on depression, and 'suffering' sets in.
Pervasive - it's when someone believes that one huge problem is dominating their life, that problem permeates every area of their life, and that their life, overall, is now the problem.
Personal - it's when someone believes that a current problem IS them, that 'they', themselves, are the problem. When you believe 'you' are the problem and you also hold the belief that 'you' can't be changed, the problem obviously can't go away.
The important key here is to determine why you are suffering. There are needs within you that are being satisfied - believe it or not. To determine what needs you are satisfying, please read my blog post on the 6 Human Needs - HERE - there is an exercise in that article to help you determine what needs are being satisfied by your different behaviors. After figuring out why you're suffering, make the decision to take responsibility, own it, decide you are done with suffering and that you want to create massive change. Then get creative in conducting the change that's necessary and get to work.
If you are struggling with eliminating suffering from your life, please schedule a free consult with me HERE and I will help.