Dear Jennifer, My hubby and I have been together for almost 6 years.

We do not connect at all lately. When we talk we argue; we don’t have sex; I feel like a single mom because he’s working so much. Please tell me this is just a phase??

I’m so tired of hurting and crying, and honesty I wonder if we will be together long term."

~Brooke M.


Dear Brooke,

This isn't a phase - at least not a healthy one.

Disconnection can quickly destroy a relationship so here's what you DON'T do... Don't try to talk about the state of your relationship right now - don't talk about your disconnection or issues. And don't criticize or complain.

Become really fun for him.

Build your connection through a lot of laughter and keep things light. If you can't laugh together, make sure you laugh and giggle so he sees you enjoying life, being carefree, and happy (because it's contagious). Suggest the two of you do things he enjoys. Go on dates with other couples (because going on a date, just the two of you right now, could be too much pressure and too straining). Learn his love language and speak it. To learn more about that and get great ideas on what to do, read this short article: may be thinking, "Why should I have to do all the work while he does nothing?" Here's why... because you love him and want to create a beautiful relationship and life together. Sometimes we must step up and carry the whole load, other times our spouse must carry the load. This is your time and this stage won't last forever. But if you only had to do this for 2-3 months and knew he'd turn around and start making change, it's worth your effort now, right?So allow yourself to be vulnerable and hope. Have the strength to rise up and make these changes in you and hopefully in time, his heart will soften and he'll begin making effort as well. If you want to talk, please email me. ❤️ ~Jennifer

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