He looked at me and boldly said, “You’re very masculine. Does this resonate with you?”

Have a look at the picture I posted here… I am a woman. I am feminine. Right?

But this man I’m speaking of, he saw masculinity in me and told me about it. . . and. . . he was spot on.

Why was I masculine in that moment? I’ll tell you. But first, ask yourself… What makes a woman masculine? What makes a man feminine? This is a fascinating subject and you’d be surprised how greatly it affects a romantic relationship.

Every human, male and female, embodies both masculine and feminine characteristics. We all need to have both the masculine and feminine well developed in us, but we need to know when to dwell in each. The masculine and feminine characteristics are defined:

MASCULINITY leads with the mind/intellect. It represents leadership, protection, safety/security, provision, strength (mentally, emotionally, physically), confidence, focus, self discipline, a strong resolve, is true to self, and remains calm amidst a storm.

FEMININITY leads with the heart. It represents gentleness, vulnerability, playfulness, fun, warmth, joy, seduction, beauty, grace, a safe haven, and being carefree.

There are many reasons a woman goes into a masculine energy; some are healthy and some aren’t. Healthy forms of masculinity in a woman show up when she’s working (business), leading people, and mothering her children (providing and protecting). Unhealthy causes are fear, past traumas, constant disappointments, and the realization/belief that no one has her back so she needs to constantly provide for, protect and defend herself.

On the flipside, there are many reasons a man will dwell in the feminine; some reasons are healthy and others unhealthy. Healthy: he wants to be nurturing, gentle, loving, and playful with his wife and children. Unhealthy: he was raised by a domineering / controlling mother, an effeminate father, lack of self confidence and/or low self worth, a domineering wife, unprocessed traumas, multiple failures, a painful marriage, and divorce.

There is a reason this particular man I told you about labeled me as being masculine. He saw masculinity in me because in that moment, in that space with him, I didn’t feel a truly masculine presence in him - so I rose to the occasion. When a woman doesn’t sense masculinity in a man she’s in the presence of (romantic partner, colleague, or friend), she can step into a masculine role (leadership, being in control, defending, protecting, more rigid).

In every relationship, polarity needs to exist - and that's created by both the masculine and feminine energy. Both need to be present. My male friend was in the feminine, so I went into the masculine.

So to all the men out there who look at their wives and see a woman who is trying to control, lead, step up, or embody a masculine characteristic in your marriage….. stop and have a look at yourself. Do you lead her well? Do you make her feel safe (not just physically, but do you make her heart feel safe)? Do you provide for her (not financially, but provide feelings of safety and security in the relationship, do you provide her with feeling loved, respected, and appreciated)?

We women will test you men, sometimes consciously and other times unconsciously, not to see if you can handle it, not to see if you’ll rise up and ‘be a man’, but we test so that we can FEEL YOUR STRENGTH, your leadership, your ability, to know that you’re in control - all so we’ll feel safe, protected, and loved.

When your woman tests you, stay strong, lean in, remain committed, make eye contact, allow her to feel your love, dedication, strength, leadership, and do all that with compassion. This is when she’ll revert back to the feminine characteristics of being relaxed, easy going, giggly, sweet, nurturing, gentle, supportive - and she’ll admire you, respect you, and love you even more. This will enhance your connection and sex life. It’s a win-win for both of you.

If you’d like to learn more about masculinity and femininity, and how they create Polarity in Marriage (what that is and why it’s necessary for passion in marriage) please read HERE.


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Until next time, love one another! ...........

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