Dear Jennifer,

"The older I get, the more I realize that life is short, and spouses should just love each other. Being alive and having a spouse to love is a miracle. If both husband and wife realize this simple truth, marriages could be transformed. So why is this not happening in many marriages?"

~Kristina V.

Dear Kristina,

So true. However, this is one of those things that is "easier said than done" for most people.

In theory, this is right on, but in daily life it's hard to practice for most because people get caught up in daily life - work, children, chores, and the gazillion things that need to get done.

Throw on top of that people who are not sleeping well (illness, anxiety, babies, etc).

Throw on top of that people who suffer health issues (which make people tired, irritable, less energetic, impatient, less likely to compromise or communicate, hormonal, etc).

Add to that normal stresses in life that pop up (job loss, death, etc) and you see how easy it is to allow yourself to slip to a negative place. Negativity is contagious. Stay negative for a period of time and people get stuck there; it become a pattern, a way of life - and some people don’t know how to pull themselves out. Read more about negativity HERE.

That's why everyone (myself included) says that marriage is hard work. You have to constantly stand vigilant at the door of your marriage. You have to constantly watch yourself - your thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions. It is hard work - but - it’s the most rewarding work.

As people age and mature, we begin to realize what you wrote - life is short - don’t take your spouse for granted - every day is a miracle - SO…love and accept each other (because we can change no one but ourselves), encourage instead of criticize, and then yes, marriages could be transformed.

So, stand vigilant - constantly work hard to deepen your connection and improve your communication - because communication is key to a healthy relationship.

If you need help, set up a free consultation at:

Until next time, love one another!

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