MARITAL CHANGE STARTS WITH YOU

December 26, 2018


Creating change in oneself can seem daunting and overwhelming if you don't know where to begin, how the process should be executed, or if you aren't motivated.  The good news?  You can change anything about yourself if you have the desire, how-to knowledge, and commitment.  Most people don't change something that makes them miserable (themselves or an outside force) until it's unbearable and they reach a breaking point.  When things become so severe they can't carry on, they then find themselves desperately saying, "Something's gotta give!"  Then there is motivation to change.  Then people take action.


But why wait for that breaking point?  Why not change NOW... before it's too late... before your marriage fails, before your business goes under, before disease strikes, before you become completely miserable? Why not create change now so you can be more productive, more successful, contribute more to your spouse, to others, and so you can live a happier, more fulfilled life?


To create change in oneself, you need a compelling future.  You'll need to gain clarity and desire for a particular outcome. Look at yourself and your life right now and ask yourself if you're happy and satisfied.  If not, there's only ONE person who has the power to change it.  That's right... it's you!  You are your only problem, and you are your only solution.  So hop up and make the change.  How?


Realize that in order for change to occur, three things need to be in check:  attitude, focus, and strategy. 

 

 

ATTITUDE

Attitude, also known as Mindset, is everything.  This is a matter of belief.... it's the belief that change IS possible. You can change anything.  If you believe you can change anything in your life, then you have a growth mindset and you're golden. If you believe that life happens to you, you're a victim of your circumstances, and certain things (about you, your life, your circumstances) can't be changed, then you have a fixed mindset and need immediate help in this area.  To improve your attitude/mindset, please read my article found HERE.  Suffering only occurs when you believe yourself to be powerless.

 

Once your attitude is superb, you can move on to examining your focus.

 

 

FOCUS

You may be wondering why focus has a play in creating change.  Like Tony Robbins says, "Where focus goes, energy flows."  If you focus on negative emotions and thoughts/language, you'll constantly experience those.  But if your focus is positive, you'll consistently experience positivity and abundance.  

 

If you focus on negative emotions (fear, anxiety, loss, and depression), you'll constantly see, find, and experience those.  If you focus on positive emotions (love, hope, abundance, and gratitude), you'll constantly see, find, and experience positivity instead.  Emotions are the driving force in your life.  The quality of your life and experiences are dependent on your emotions. Most people have one or two go-to emotions.  What are yours?  Are they more positive, hopeful, and happy, or do you tend to go to a darker, more anxious, fearful, or depressive state?  You can have total control over your emotions, just as you can over your behavior (actions and reactions).


When you're trying to control or overcome negative emotional patterns, first have a look at the intent behind your negative emotion.  The intent is usually a positive one: you're trying to eliminate pain, prevent future pain, protect yourself, or provide yourself with safety/security.  Whatever the cause, the intent is most likely a positive one.  Be grateful for that positive intent.  Next, be grateful for the good things you do have in your life.

 

And what's your language like?  The same goes for thoughts and language.  Did you know the thoughts you feed the cells in your body have more of an impact on your health than the food you feed your cells?  Be mindful off all thoughts and when you experience a negative thought, take a moment to flip it into an opposite, positive thought and say that to yourself over and over.

 

Remember, where focus goes, energy flows.

 

 

COMMITMENT

Creating change in yourself must become your #1 priority. You’ll need to become hyper aware of your every thought, feeling, and behavior. If you want to create positive change in your marriage, THIS is where you start.

 

 

 

STRATEGY

First, gain clarity on what needs to change.  Ask yourself what you want to change in yourself or your life.  Write down on paper, in detail, your desired change.  Then write down the top three negative, self-limiting beliefs surrounding this change that needs to occur.  Also write down what has been holding you back or preventing the change from occurring.  


Then develop an opposite, positive, empowering belief to counter each of those negative, self-limiting beliefs.  Cross out the old, negative beliefs that no longer serve you.  Next, look at the limitations that have been holding you back and get clear on what exactly needs to happen to break through those limitations or to remove them, so you can move forward toward your goal.  Get really clear on this and write it down as well.  Either circle or highlight the new, Empowering Beliefs and the actions necessary to accomplish your goals.  You may want to write these on a fresh piece of paper and throw away the old.

 

Read your new Empowering Beliefs aloud daily along with your necessary actions.  Watch massive change take place in your life! 

 

If you're a visual person and want to watch my YouTube video on this article, please check it out here:  YouTube.

 

Until next time, love one another!

 

 

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