Do you ever think (or hope) your spouse will do something, they don't deliver, and then you're hurt and disappointed? It's probably due to your expectations of them. How often do you think about your expectations of self or spouse?

In this episode, I talk about expectations and how they negatively affect marriage. I love what Antonio Banderas says, "Expectation is the mother of all frustration". Agreed. I believe many marriages are unhappy and failing because of unmet or unreasonable expectations. I dive into the causes of too many expectations, the difference between healthy and unhealthy expectations, and the cure of insidious expectations. Humans innately want to make others happy - just a little something to remember.

Unless you are mindful of your every emotion and thought, you probably don't notice your expectations most of the time. Don't rob yourself or your spouse from the freedom of delight and happiness because of expectations. This confines you to a marriage of rigidity and strife.

Listen to this episode and determine if your (or your spouse's) expectations are healthy or damaging your relationship.

Show Notes:


Webster's definition of expectation vs Antonio Bendera's definition.

Many marriages are unhappy and failing because of unmet expectations.

What expectations are based on.

What mixing them all together does.


Expectation comes in many forms.

Unless one is mindful of their every emotion and thought, then they cannot notice most of their expectations.


No one enters marriage expecting to be lied to, cheated on, abused or abandoned.

Normal expectations vs smaller, unhealthy expectations and what the smaller expectations rob your marriage of.


What expectations are and how they narrow options, dampen creativity and imagination, and prevent one from recognizing opportunities that might be right in front of them. This confines a person to a marriage of rigidity and monotony and the person will find themselves impulsively reacting to perceived threats that may or may not even happen.


Expectations can be a killer of happiness in relationships.

They cause a person to constantly demand things both verbally and non-verbally from their spouse.

Placing expectations on your spouse is unfair and what it does to them.


What expectations do to a relationship long term.

Questions you should ask yourselves to break free of unhealthy expectations.


What happens when a person is imprisoned by expectations - and what to do instead.


The first cause of expectations.


The next cause of expectations.

Perfectionism does not exist and why people should stop calling themselves a perfectionist.

What causes a person to be a "perfectionist".


The third cause of expectations and what it represents in a person.


The first remedy.


The second remedy.


A third remedy.


Humans innately want to make others happy, especially their spouses.

Why one needs to be clear in communication and needs with their spouse.

If one's spouse does not get it right the first time, what the other spouse should do.


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Until next time, love one another!

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